Deathwoods Review: It Knows the Slasher Playbook Too Well

Sep 4

5 min read

Spoilers Ahead

Deathwoods is now streaming exclusively on Screambox.

I appreciate the drive-in opening. Everybody is doing the whole “thing from the past” thing now, but it made me laugh, so fine. Then Jessa Jupiter Flux shows up as Suzie. That gives it a point. Not because her being there suddenly makes the movie better, obviously. Sorry, Uncle Lloyd.

I have a soft spot for Troma and the scrappier end of independent horror. Not every movie needs to be a cinematic masterpiece. Sometimes the exact opposite can still be fun, and I

was willing to meet Deathwoods on that level.

Jake Kopronica and Deryk Wehrley directed Deathwoods, with Kopronica and creator Scott Conner handling the script. Scott, Kyle, Jessica and Michelle take a camping trip into the woods surrounding Old Hickory, Tennessee. Scott is recovering from a breakup, his friends want to set him up with Michelle, and the area comes with an old story about the Wallace family and something grotesque that may still be living out there. The setup is not complicated. If you have seen more than a few slashers, you could probably finish it yourself.

The movie does not mess around getting to the sex and death. Everyone in that opening group is dead before the main camping trip even begins. Some of the gore is decent enough, though a lot of the violence is sold through sound, editing or a camera that looks away at a helpful moment. Low budget, I get it. Suzie's death is the first effect that made me sit up a little. It shows what the filmmakers can do when they actually put the damage on screen.

The film follows that with a run of scenes that are sexist even by the standards of the movies it is copying. At the Slick Pig, Scott and Kyle establish that they are the good guys by beating up a pair of assholes after the men harass Michelle. Cool, bro. Bruce, who runs the place, is still the best character in this stretch because he seems to have wandered in from another movie where people occasionally talk like human beings.

After the opening massacre, Scott wakes from a nightmare in which Katie appears murdered while lying on top of him. The film later establishes that she vanished after a huge fight. No note. No voicemail. No closure. Everyone around him keeps calling it a breakup. The movie is obviously setting up a mystery. Fine. It is still strange that his friends treat a sudden disappearance like the kind of baggage a camping trip and a setup can fix.

The acting is about what I expected, and the dialogue is on par with a traditional slasher movie. At one point, one character asks, “Okay, so what do we do?” Another answers, “I'll tell you what we're gonna do.” Riveting. Conversations lurch from one required line to the next, and people often sound like they are saying placeholder versions of whatever a slasher character should say before the next plot beat. Most of the group feels designed to annoy us until somebody finally kills them.

Jaren J. Lewis' cinematography is nothing to write home about, but it does not need to be. The film has a cheap grindhouse look and does not pretend otherwise. I kept telling myself that Deathwoods knows what it is, which is true. After a while, though, that started sounding less like praise and more like an excuse. Knowing what you are is the starting point. You still need taste, timing and judgment.

Then the checklist really gets moving. Swimming? Of course. A spooky story around the campfire? Yep. Then there is an ominous bearded man burning a missing person poster, Michelle choosing a walk by herself instead of swimming and a stupid game that sends people running into the woods alone at night. Surely nothing bad will happen.

The hillbillies return, now accompanied by what I can only call hill-ladies. Their names are Earl and Junior because apparently they had to be. The killer's mask looks like it escaped from a Mushroomhead video. By this point, I could practically hear the screenplay checking boxes.

During Kyle's campfire story, the movie cuts to a flashback where a woman accused of cheating says she was raped. Jesus. The movie barely gives that revelation time to register before moving on.

A lot of slashers make the mistake of trying to build fear through dialogue, and

Deathwoods goes all in on it. People ask questions, call out names, explain what might be happening and scream about whatever just happened. The movie rarely allows a sound, an empty frame or the woods themselves to hold tension. Slow down and let things breathe. Silence and distance can be scarier than another person announcing the danger out loud.

By the time this group of adults starts playing hide and seek in the woods, my main thought was: please, just start killing these idiots. Thankfully, the movie eventually listens. Kyle's death is particularly satisfying, partly because I was more than ready for somebody to shut him up. It also lets the practical effects speak for themselves. Other deaths happen mostly offscreen or are sold through audio and a cut, so the better kills made me wish the movie had trusted its effects more often.

The ominous bearded man walks in like the movie's big mystery. I had the broad idea figured out almost immediately: he is not the killer; he is hunting the killer for reasons of his own. When those reasons become clear, it does not change much. He has a beard and a job to do in the plot. There are several characters like that.

There is a certain crowd in horror culture that will probably have a much better time with this than I did. The mask has some personality, a few of the kills deliver and the affection for old slashers does not feel fake. Making and finishing a feature on a small budget is hard, and I respect the people who do it. But effort cannot be the final measurement. I still have to judge the movie that ended up onscreen.

Oh, and the twist. The movie saves one more revelation for the end and explains it through a long monologue that seems determined to make sure nobody misses anything. By the time the explanation finishes, the reveal feels less shocking than inevitable. Then the movie circles back to the taco joke and ends.

Deathwoods has one standout early effect, a few kills that work and a mask that I will probably remember. It also has generic characters, rough performances and dialogue that never stops announcing itself. It knows the slashers it loves scene by scene, but affection is not a point of view. By the end, I was not thinking about the Wallace family, the legend or the killer. I was thinking about the better movies it kept reminding me of.

4.4/10

A screener of Deathwoods was provided for review purposes.